On Trusting Oneself
As coaches who specialize in working with women of color, one pattern we observe all too often is our clients second guessing themselves, unable to feel confident in their career decisions, accustomed to ignoring their gut instinct day in, day out.
Today, we have a guest blog post from Embrace Change team member, Leah Davis. This one goes out to all the women of color who’ve ever felt unsure.
Blog post by Embrace Change team member, Leah Davis, founder of Leah Davis Coaching
“If you don’t trust you, it doesn’t matter what anyone else says or does, you will not be able to move beyond the level of the confidence you have in yourself.”
Trust is something I learned to instill in myself. As an adult survivor of childhood domestic violence I didn’t know how to Trust my father. I didn’t know if it was a day he would express his love for me or if it was a day he would beat me. This was confusing and it took many years to learn how to Trust myself, people, and life.
I often hear clients say, “I want to stop second guessing myself.” They don’t trust the choices they make with money or business decisions. They have fear, doubt, and worry before, during, or after they make up their mind on what to do. Or maybe they don’t do anything at all and nothing gets done. If this rings a bell, then maybe it’s time to reflect on how you can learn to Trust yourself.
First, it starts with getting out of your head and into your body. We have instinctive physical responses as our guide. When we have experienced trauma our alert system gets out of whack. This shows up as hyper vigilance ignoring the physical signals of our body, or running away and avoiding making a decision.
Here are some tips that can help you learn to trust and revive your intuition:
Your Desired Outcome
Contemplate what you ultimately want to experience after you have made a decision. You might be seeking peace, joy, or a feeling of being grounded and free. Grab a pen and paper and finish this sentence “When I decide to ________ my desired outcome is to experience ______.
Let Go
What are you willing to let go of? Sometimes we need to let go of controlling what happens towards reaching our desired outcome. Let go of doubt. This step is non-negotiable as you learn to Trust everything is always working out serving your highest good.
Get Still and Focus on Trust
After you wake up in the morning, sit in silence. Put on meditation music and say “Trust” 3 to 5 times. Focus on the energy of Trust. Trust feels free, calm, steady, and peaceful. Repeat “Trust” in your mind as you move into your meditation and see the word across the screen of your mind, focus on the feeling of Trust. End your meditation in gratitude with a “thank you.”
Click here for a 5-minute guided meditation by Cynthia on Letting Go.
